Raven “Johnny” Braveheart Mirthrander Stormcrow 2
by furvacatta
Summary: When you're sick of MarySues, Raven returns to invade the Edward Scissorhands fandom on her quest for love. MarySue Parody. This is a Sequel to my Pirates of the Carribean story.


Raven "Johnny" Braveheart Mirthrander Stormcrow: The Unwanted Sequel

Raven "Johnny" Braveheart Mirthrander Stormcrow had been very upset of late. Not only had she been rejected, she had been killed. Even though she knew that this was just a small roadblock on her quest for true love, it was not very pleasant to die.

Now she found herself in a car that was pulling up in front of a pastel pink house. Around her, small children danced and bunnies skipped merrily down the street singing songs of lore and joy. She sighed and put leaned her lovely black haired head against the window.

"We're here sweetie-pie!" her horribly abusive mother growled from the front seat of the sedan. Raven sighed, grabbed her huge black duffel bag from the front seat of the car, and climbed out onto the sunny pavement of the driveway. She hissed and placed a pair of jet-black sunglasses on her face. This neighborhood was too perfect. It was too happy. It was too carefree.

"This neighborhood sucks," she muttered, throwing her bag over her shoulder and walking through the front door, squishing several innocent ladybugs along the way. She marched directly to the back of the house, to where the bedrooms were located. She walked into the largest one and dumped her bag on her bed. The movers, redecorators, and writer had already been here.

She had decided to do her room in an entirely different style. The walls were purple now, instead of black, and the posters of Jack Sparrow were now full of dart holes. Besides that, it looked exactly like her room in the previous home.

The sun was already setting. She walked over to the window and starred out, while subconsciously throwing darts at the Pirates of the Caribbean poster on her wall. Would she ever find someone?

The next day, she got ready for her first day of school at Suburbia High School. She dressed simply, modestly, in a tight leather tub top mini-dress covered in silver chains. On her feet she wore knee-high leather boots. She slipped on her black jacket, and walked out the door.

"Bye-Bye funny-bun!" her mother screeched cruelly down the stairs. A single tear fell down the beautiful cheek of Raven Stormcrow. Wiping it away with one red painted finger, she started walking to school. Looking back at her house, she thought it appeared to have become even more pink and cheerful than before. Her eyes began to tear, and the built up angst inside of her spilled out through her eyes. Watching her daughter out of a window of the house, her mother sighed.

Angst stains were so hard to remove.

That day at school, Raven had a horrible time. All the kids made fun of her, all day long. They laughed at her hair, her clothes, and the angst stains on her cheeks. She suffered through the day, not crying, bottling up her emotions inside.

At the end of the day, she left the school and began the long way home, in the snow, uphill both ways. She sniffled and began to cry silently. As she approached a corner, she saw two housewives up ahead, each in their own respective yards. She soon grew close enough to hear the words they were shouting to each other.

"DID YOU SEE THAT NEW GIRL?" shouted one red haired housewife.

"SHE'S REALY FREAKY!" shouted the other back.

Raven screamed and started to run down the street sobbing. Suddenly, from behind her, three boys from school began to chase her.

"Peanut head! Peanut head!" they taunted, running after her, lobbing peanuts at the back of her head. Up ahead, she could see a large house sitting on the top of a hill she had not noticed before.

It was her only chance. She raced up to the long driveway; the boy's cries still ringing in her ears. She slipped through the first gate as the boys stopped short behind her. They began to whimper and shrink away from the gate. They shrunk away like moles retreating from light.

Raven sighed and shifted the pack on her back. She began the long hike up to the house on the top of the hill. She didn't know why, but her Sue-sense was tingling.

At the top of the hill was another gate. She once again slipped through the bars and found herself in a beautiful garden. It was filled with many different types of shrubberies, which were placed in a little circle that formed a path. In the center of the path was a large bush in the shape of a hand.

Raven marveled at the garden, before turning her attention to the house. It was old and falling down, but her sense told her that inside the house someone was waiting for her.

She opened the door and peeked in, ignoring the signed on the door, saying quite plainly "No Sues Allowed."

The second her head came through the crack in the door, she saw what she had been looking for. Their stood a pale man in black leather, with crazy black hair and scissors for hands.

She let out high pitched noise.

"No…" said Edward. She ignored his warning and continued to run towards him. He closed his eyes, and apprehensively pushed a cart at her.

The cart was loaded with several sharp objects of various sizes. In his mind, he called it "The Killing Machine." What it did was it disposed of Sues without him having to kill them himself. He hated doing that. It always made a mess, and he had run out of Lysol about ten years ago. This machine knocked them out the door, so he wouldn't have to deal with them.

Edward knew killing was wrong, but sometimes there were exceptions. People who hurt Kim, and Mary-Sues.

The next day, Raven woke up. "Darn," she thought. She was dead…again.

Author's Note: Yes, I'm back! This story is a sequel/companion/whatever to the Pirates of the Caribbean story, Raven "Johnny" Braveheart Mithrandir Stormcrow. Be sure to remember that these are total parodies. If this story sounds in any way like yours, first, shame on you, and second, I promise it is not copies off yours. I always appreciate Reviews! Their may be another installment, or many, since I really like this character. The next story may be original (not fan fiction) so I will put a link in my profile.

PS: I don't own Edward Scissorhands. It is the permission of 20th Century Fox, and Tim Burton.


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